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I hate the effing world, now give me chocolate's Journal

Monday, January 24, 2005


My cramps are out of control I'm overloaded on pescription meds and have to work : ( I hate this!

Current mood: in pain

(1 punch | go punch the wall)

Sunday, January 16, 2005


I had unprotected sex around three to four days after finishing my last period. Two days later I swallowed five regular birth control pills (Trimordiol - combination pill) out of paranoia and anxiety, hoping they could serve as emergency contraception (the morning-after pill is unavailable in this country). About a week or so later, I started bleeding as though I had a normal menstrual period... I bled for five to seven days, I can't remember.

Anyway, I've missed my period this month, quite possibly because of the whole pill-overdose-then-withdrawal-then-bleeding sort of thing. In any case I want to do a pregnancy test but I don't want to keep wasting them, as my resources for getting these home tests are quite limited.

So, when's a good time to do the pregnancy test, ensuring that my body's hormones' level has calmed down and that I can get an unaffected result?

Also, when can I next expect to get my period?

Here's a sum up to help with the calculations:

13 Dec - Last period's start

18 Dec or so - Last period's finish

21 Dec - Unprotected intercourse; full insertion & copulation

23 Dec - 5 regular BC pills swallowed

30 Dec - Bleeding starts

5th Jan or so - Bleeding stops

Period was due 13-14 of this month and it's usually pretty regular. So, provided the delay is because of the pills followed by withdrawal bleeding, when can I next expect my period?

And when's a good time to do the test free of hormone-override worries?

(go punch the wall)

Sunday, January 2, 2005


What are my chances of pregnancy...?

December 2004:

Mon 13 - Period start

Sat 18 (approx) - Period finish

Tues 21 - intercourse, full insertion & copulation, unprotected

Thurs 23 - Five birth control pills swallowed

Thurs 30 - Bleeding

Before anyone tells me how stupidly I behaved on the 21st, please bear in mind that I honestly thought I'd swallowed my pill that morning. Unfortunately I'm on so many medications and supplements that the tiny little fucker just eluded me somehow. I swallowed five regular BC pills after much procrastination that Thursday night because I could not find the 'morning-after' pill- it's banned in the country I live in.

(go punch the wall)

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


Hi there, I just joined. I'm in love with the subject of menstruation and see it as a monthly celebration. I love writing about my premenstrual syndrome experiences and I see a lot of spirituality and metaphysics (so to speak) in the whole process.

This is cross posted to several communities and my own personal journal.

My friend's eleven days late. Today we were talking about writing a zine called Where's My Period Already?. It would deal with PMS issues, the myths and whatnot regarding menstruation, and would feature work written by us when we're PMSing. It would be the ultimate work of art: paranoia, frustration, absent-mindedness, physical disorders, hormonal imbalance, identity crises and mood swings and the whole lot. Take this month for example.

Four days ago I went on a chocolate binge (after three weeks of extreme, zero-carbs Atkins) till I overdosed and went from bordering on a fever to practically hallucinating, it was such a rush. In the few days since, I've been trying to jump back on the Atkins wagon while the syndrome got worse and worse.

Every morning I leave my place five to ten minutes earlier than I really have to, and sit in the lobby of a building right next to my bus pick-up point to have a cigarette (and sometimes, some coffee). This morning I had decaf Nescafe with Coffee Mate and no sugar/sweetner, coupled with my regular Lucky Strike. I got unbelievably dizzy and couldn't coordinate myself much. My head felt heavy and light at the same time and I felt numb and frail and tingly somehow all at once. Afterwards, when crossing the road to my pick-up point, I saw my life flash before my eyes as a truck zoomed by, two centimeters away from my skin. I'm normally pretty absent minded and slow with crossing roads, so coupled with that evil morning cigarette and my PMS it's not a pretty idea to leave me alone on the road!

Sitting in Sociology class today, fully aware that I'd just gotten my period (I was doubled over in paralysing pain) and had no pads, I can feel the only guy in the class sitting behind me and breathing down my neck. This guy's been into me since the first day of Sociology and he makes a point of sitting as near to me as possible during class, and constantly asking for help. I'm chewing on my lip and entertaining the idea of a crimson stain spreading all over my backside. Naturally the idea sends me into tears but just this once I wonder how legendary it would be if it happened and that guy dropped Sociology the next morning.

On the bus home from school today, I got beyond drowsy and dozed off (though in that 'buzzy' way, where you're awake but not really conscious). Just as the bus came to an abrupt halt at a traffic light, I snapped out of the 'aura' I felt I was in and my head toppled forward on my neck. I thought it was my stop and scrambled up, gathering my backpack and jumper (now pulled tightly around my hips; thank goodness for black cotton when you need it). The driver glanced at me, and I glanced at the shut door. He figured I wanted to get off at an earlier spot and pulled the lever impatiently. I jumped off and took about ten minutes to register my surroundings. When I finally realized what had happened and started walking the hundred or so yards to my building, I decided I wanted a smoke. I walked into this cave-like crevice meant as a private parking space in one of the new buildings in the area. I lit up, and almost immediately my vision got hazy and I had to sit down on the ground. I felt numb and still, like I couldn't walk or coordinate any activity.

I slept for what seemed like ten hours, and when I woke up I felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly by sharp knives placed on the circumference of my abdominal region. I had supper and checked my e-mail. I drank ice cold club soda straight after. Bad, BAD idea. Cold stuff slows down the blood flow, making it even more difficult for the tissue to leave my body, thus amplifying the pain to beyond agonizing proportions. After about an hour of moaning, groaning and cursing everything, I felt a fever burning up and flicked on the AC. I made myself a cup of decaf and I'm having it with one of those Atkins-approved chocolates that allegedly carry only one or two net carbs.

I feel like if I could just saw off the lower part of my torso I can breathe normally again.

(go punch the wall)

Sunday, September 19, 2004

6:08AM - Check It

bleedingvagina: A Place For Females To Vent/Rant When They're PMSing.

(go punch the wall)

Thursday, May 1, 2003


join girls__only

thanks. xo

(go punch the wall)


join girls__only

thanks. xo

(go punch the wall)

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

8:55PM - bleh..

Mississippi heat doesn't help at all :x Stupid migraines up the ass >< Right now the only light is coming from my computer screen...x.x; it doesn't hurt my eyes o.<;

Long time no see btw

Current mood: annoyed

(go punch the wall)

8:52PM - bleh..

Mississippi heat doesn't help at all :x Stupid migraines up the ass >< Right now the only light is coming from my computer screen...x.x; it doesn't hurt my eyes o.<;

Long time no see btw

Current mood: annoyed

(go punch the wall)

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

6:16PM - Grr, have you ever been so mad that you've actually wanted to kill someone and take another and run?

That probably makes no sense what so ever. It does to me, though. For the longest time I have liked a guy. He used to like me... or so I was told. We had the best relationship. It never turned into anything, but it was a very trusting friendship that was said to last a lifetime. Me and him used to be so differant with echother. We would talk and joke around, and we trusted echother. He was and is the only person I trust in my life. Insane. Then a while back I heard about how he wanted to kiss me. Then some dumb blonde bitch named Jamie came into the picture, talked shit, never even knew me, and stole him away from me. I warned him about this trash he picks up. He's such a sweet and sensitive guy. He's so caring. He's been the only man in my life that's ever meant anything to me. I could never hurt him. Didn't he see that he had someone who wanted him more than anything in the world, standing right in front of his eyes!? I warned him about these girls. Now here's my next story. It's about a girl names Liz. I knew she was trouble from the minute I talked to her. I saw a girl using Dan for self-pity, who would leave him at any minute. Then I found out from a girl who knows her better than any that she is a "slut" and "craves pity" and is "using dan" and is "terrible". I was fucking right. Grrr. I felt so hurt. The one thing i want, I can't have. And I have to watch this happen to me and him. Does anybody have any idea what I'm talking about?

Current mood: venting

(go punch the wall)

Saturday, July 13, 2002


Always he said,
And I never doubted it
I love you he swore,
I never thought it would end.
It will never stop he wrote.
So when did it?
When did you stop loving me?
And when did always become
The End?
When did you decide?
The lies are there,
But so are all your promises.
"I love you. It will never stop..."

Current mood: cynical

(2 punches | go punch the wall)

Tuesday, July 9, 2002


hey sup.. odes nebody got a LJ code i could use for a friend???

(go punch the wall)

Saturday, July 6, 2002

11:52PM - sigh.

my mom is going to be in the hospital, for six months.
i dont know what to do.

if i had the money...
i would buy both my folks homes.
and i would pay for a live in maid/nurse for my daddy.
and i would pay for someone to make sure my moms not slitting her wrists, again.


Current mood: crushed

(go punch the wall)

Friday, July 5, 2002

1:25AM - wooohooo

my website is up.


yippee. i can return to the land of the living now.

i miss you guys.

Current mood: giggly

(go punch the wall)

Wednesday, July 3, 2002

6:12PM - Emo....blah.

Arghfuck. I’m supposed to be at Melissa’s birthday party right now. But instead, where am I? At home, being screamed at. Because tonight is the big “family and boyfriend” dinner – while my sister and Jason are at work. That pisses me off; I wanted Jason to be here. But my retarded mom didn’t tell me about this until this afternoon, so I didn’t even get the chance to tell him about it, and he has drumline practice right after work, so he’s not going to be able to make it. So it’s Rachel and her boyfriend, my parents, and me. Sounds really big and important, huh? And Rachel and her boyfriend (who she claims isn’t even her boyfriend….but they still are pretty damn close) are even out for lunch right now, at 4:30. Think they’ll be hungry by the big event at 6:30? Yeah. That’s what I thought.

I was reading this magazine that came in the mail today (I think it was seventeen ) and they had this section in the middle that was like “Are you Emo?” and they had this picture of this guy and this girl, with arrows pointing to things they were wearing saying things like “chunky black shoes, great for standing up at concerts” and “you have to have the studded belt to get back to your punk roots, and make sure you have lots of tough girl bracelets”. Dear lord. I almost cried when I saw that. And there’s shit all over the magazine saying “this month, try the emo thing!” and everything. What the fuck? ARGH! Why are people DOING this? Let them find out on their own!!! They gave a list of some good bands, too. Which means that within about a week they’ll all be smiling faces in the sea of celebrities on TRL and in heavy repeat play on MTV 2. This subject just makes me so incredibly angry; I can’t even talk about it. I want to fucking kill them all. What…I…..ARGH! I’m so flustered. FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!

Current mood: angry

(go punch the wall)

Monday, June 24, 2002

11:14AM - Hi I am New

I'm New and sometimes I hate the effing world too.........AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGSVHKLORIO WZSD OK I feel better now. *sigh* If you ever wanna drop in on my journal, feel free. @_@

Current mood: annoyed

(go punch the wall)

Sunday, June 23, 2002


hello..i'm new! love me!

well i certainly have enough to bitch about...ALL THE TIME. teenage angst is my specialty.

as of right now the worst thing is my "best friend" who ditched me. we have been getting in a few arguments lately, and then she just didn't want to be around me anymore. and so, i'm left best friendless, but SHE has ANNAMARIE to fall back on, so who cares about sarah anyway!??! and all i'm left with is trust issues, and countless pictures and trinkets around my house and LIFE reminding me of amber, the girl who "dumped" me. and the only person i have to fall back on? my boyfriend, jason. which is just fine now, but what happens when he dumps me too, damnit?!?!?

alrighty, don't want to scare you all away...just wanted to put an entry in. heh.

Current mood: bored

(2 punches | go punch the wall)

Friday, June 21, 2002

12:44AM - shitty, shitty day.

Fuck this shit! I don't need it all!!!!!

Ok. Here's what happened.

1.) Luis called. Him and Erik want to come over to go swimming, I ask my mom and she's cool with it. But then Luis insisted on bringing Ryan. So Ryan comes, but he doesn't swim. Well neither do I, cause of my hair(I can't wash it until tomorrow night). So Richard and Ernie come over too, and Ernie swims, and Richard, Ryan and I are kicking it on the couch watching Scooby Doo on the WB. Then Richard's fat ass brings it to my attention that Ryan's got these fat hickies on his neck. So then Richard asks him who the new girl is, and he says 'Sarah Garcia'. And, well, in 6th grade, fuck it, I HATED that bitch. So I think it's absolutely the biggest horror story right now.

2.) I have a bad cough, but I had to announce the names tonight during the T.O.C Senior games. Of which Hercules' team played. And he's fucking hot, I swear. Well, so everyone and their great aunt knows that I think he's hot now. I also got nailed in the leg with a pre-pubescent apricot while they were throwing them at Jeff and Hercules.

3.) ERNIE and Nick(again) are spending the night. This sucks ass. They're fucking loud and I won't be able to get a decent night's sleep.

4.) I still can't find my black shorts.

5.) I'm freaking fat! I measured myself and compared them to March's measurements. some of them stayed the same, but others shrunk, and other's grew.

Personally, I wouldn't mind if Luis asked me out. But he won't, so I'm not going to cncern myself with that. My mom knew I liked Ryan, and she kept asking me how I felt, but I said that I was fine. Even though I wanted to kick his ass. But I know that If I wouldv'e said how I really felt to my mom, she would have told him and then I'd have ruined ANY chance with him that I might've had. And, plus, Ernie said he's going to try to hook me up with Hercules. HAHA. Yeah right, like that'll ever happen. Tomorrow, Michelle is going to spend the night and we're going to go to the Cinnabon where her boyfriend works at and bug him like he bugs us at Kingsley

6.) oh yeah, and Erik is moving!! I forgot where, but he won't be going to Mohigh anymore, and he won't be playing baseball at my field anymore. I guess Nick and I will have to take his and Andy's place in the cool club now. No, fuck it, I don't want to be in any kind of club with Ryan. I'm still fucking pissed at that bastard.

Bleh. What a day.

Current mood: pissed off

(2 punches | go punch the wall)

Tuesday, June 18, 2002


effing men. bleh,Collapse )

(go punch the wall)

Friday, June 14, 2002

8:24PM - -yawn-

So unbelievably tired...exhausted...I really do need to hit the hay early tonight =/ I'm just thinking of my [possible] trip to England so much....it really irritates me that airlines/airport people/whoever want to charge out the ass.....hello...it's not like I want to buy the plane x_x; Ah anyways...
How is everyone doing? Nobody's posted in a while o_o;

Current mood: contemplative

(2 punches | go punch the wall)

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